"i will not leave you as orphans; i will come to you"

There is a place within us that no man can visit...
a hidden place deep within..
a locked garden - the Holy Spirit's habitation, the inner-man.
There is much of you, of me, of us as human beings that will NEVER be understood
by another.
It will never be discovered, and if, through attempts to explain it, these deep waters will,
more than likely, not be treated with the value and delicate care they so deserve.

and truly, it would be a man whose visited an unknown land wanting another to taste of
the new and undiscovered fruits by mere storytelling.

What I'm talking about here - is that locked place.
the you of rushing rivers that flows between the ribs to the thoughts behind the eyes.

The thoughts of a man.
The emotions of a man.
The history of one - the wounds and triumphs and glories and broken loves.
The desires, deep within, and the fears and the hopes and the explanations
that not even the greatest of writers could convey or the most talented musician
string out.

and after we are purified,
down the stairwells, and through the torn curtain,
abides the Holy of Holies, within us.
where only 2 can enter.

ourselves (with all it's mysteries and reality)
and the God of the Universe.

And God has mandated it this way.
This is His glory.
For He is God, a great Creator, and He has reserved the depths of a human being
for Himself, for He is a jealous One...

And He wants us to give Him this place, and live from this place, and abide within this place.
It's the kingdom of heaven within, it's the Holy Spirit's indwelling, it's the place where God can make home.

And we, especially as women, toil and spin and strive to be known.
Though some admit to hiding, it's really a holding out, the waiting for the one who proves to deal well with that which is within.
We write deep thoughts, or dream of the day when we are married, where we will REALLY be known,
and enjoyed for the depths and fully understood.

but i am guessing,
and i'm saying this prematurely, for obviously I am not married,
and obviously there is something about becoming One with someone that transcends
all other relationships,
but still.
but still.

there is a deep, deep, deep reservoir within.
and even the greatest of lovers will never tread there -
and this, in immaturity, could produce frustration and anger...
but really,
there is a key owned by One Man,
and it's Jesus.

and once we understand that.
i think there is this level of freedom,
of pure liberation, that is obtained.
for we cease to strive to pull out and give and show this deep part of us,
not out of selfishness or fear,
but out of the mere knowledge that man couldn't understand even if we tried...
because it's His. and He can have it - and if He wishes to publish it for mankind -
He shall, for those He chooses, but if not -

His communion and His being the High Priest who UNDERSTANDS fully and SYMPATHIZES fully

that is enough.

and so if we live our lives forever alone,
waking up to an empty bed,
no spouse to share our secrets with,
no children to pass on our lessons to,
and no friends to laugh about the oddities buried beneath
the normalcy of live.

it's really okay.
really.

Because the God of the Universe dwells within.
and He's the only one who really KNOWS us anyway,
even those who deny His existence or flee from His invitation,
even they are known and watched and live in a deceit that tells them they are alone,
in their own insanity and their own inner struggle and their own emotional hurricanes and their own deep misunderstandings,
even they are haunted by the Holder of all Secrets.

Yes, and He shall be named closer than a brother - the dearest Friend.

He has walked upon the waters of our souls and swam within the roaring oceans of our minds since before we were born.

to Him we are FULLY known.


there is only One, whom too, has tasted from the same well of suffering our own hearts has drank from
and there is only One, who has taken part in every everlasting joy and jubilee within the inside of one's soul.



hallelujah that one day, quicker than we can blink our eyes, we will behold the Face
that peers deeply within our beings and watches our every movement and hears every desperate plea
and holds within His hands all that was never appreciated or understood by the minds of men.

The joy of it all is enough to cause martyrs to march to their death
and cause lovers to waste their lives on the Invisible.





and it's true, beloved, truly truly true.







He is the greatest Lover.